Personal hygiene

I've noticed that people spend a lot more time than dogs on personal hygiene. They shower, spray themselves with smelly perfumes, and alter their appearance with powders, paints, shaves and hair cuts. It all seems kind of pointless to me. Why do they do it?

Do they not like their own smell? Or is it that they don't want others to smell them? I happen to like my own smell and I don't care who knows it. I also don't like getting wet so showers and baths are out of the question, however I will confess that I hate getting sand or stones stuck between my claws and I do feel better after Jenny has cleaned me up.

Do they not like how they look? Or are they trying to disguise themselves? I think I'm pretty cute, at least that's what my parents tell me. Sometimes I think it might be cool to disguise myself as a bigger dog but even if all my fur stood straight up or if it was painted a different colour I wouldn't look any more intimidating, just fluffier. If I need to look scarier I just bark loudly and show my teeth. This almost always works.

Recently my parents have added two new tools to my personal hygiene regimen : beef flavoured toothpaste and a Batman toothbrush. Actually they've been brushing my teeth for a long time already but I usually have to endure peanut flavoured paste and an adult sized toothbrush. I just don't understand why they can't give me real peanut butter or beef strips? Wouldn't that be easier?

While I don't understand this I do know that they are very concerned about my teeth. They tell me they are helping me keep my teeth because they love me. I know I'm pretty lucky. I just hope all this tooth brushing works because I need my teeth!! How could I eat without them?

With love & cuddles,
Lottie



Lesson#18 Don't forget to brush your teeth!

Gifts

People are so lucky! They walk around tall and upright opening doors and driving cars, all because they are bipedal and have opposable thumbs. Such gifts! I can hardly imagine the freedom! I have to whine if I want a door opened and I don't get nearly enough car rides.

If I had the human powers of bipedal locomotion and opposable thumbs, the first thing I would do is take the car out for a drive. I'd roll down the window and stick my head out till I felt my tongue flap around in the breeze (oh wait I'm thinking like a dog) nevermind. I momentarily forgot that if I had human features I wouldn't do that. Anyway, I would borrow some money from Jenny, drive myself to the store, buy a chicken and a steak, cook it and eat it all by myself. And I wouldn't share it with my parents because they never share their food with me. Well, almost never. Jenny gives me peanut butter when she wants me to swallow a pill (she thinks I don't know but I really do)... I would also leave the house whenever I felt like chasing bunnies or barking at squirrels (oh wait I'm thinking like a dog again) nevermind...

Such freedom would be grand, but I think I would miss some things like naps. People are very busy and rarely get enough sleep let alone mid-morning naps, afternoon naps, and evening naps. What a shame. I would also miss chasing bunnies. Actually if I had to do without that I would pine for it. I never see people chasing after anything except the odd toddler that makes a break for it. I would also miss my superior sniffing ability. When I'm outside I can pick up a wide variety of scents in seconds. I'm kind of like a four legged sommelier that way. I don't think people hear very well either, so I would definitely want to keep my own ears (although thunder might not sound as scary if I had people ears).

Although I would like to experience the same freedoms that humans have I would not want to do without the gifts that all canines possess.

With love & cuddles,
Lottie



Lesson#17 Appreciate all the gifts you have been given for if they are taken away you will miss them.

Fear

What a terrible week! I spent most of it shivering under the bed. As you may recall I'm terrified of thunder and lightning and there has been a lot of it lately. I don't mind the rain but no amount of reassurances can get me to go outside in such awful weather... but sometimes thunder is sneaky.

A few days ago an unsuspecting Jenny and I went out for a walk. It was perfectly nice until we hit a downpour on the last block. As we ran towards home we heard a loud crack of thunder and witnessed a blaze of lightning light up the dark sky. I could hardly contain my fear. I ran as fast as I could. When we reached the backyard I frantically dug into the earth to create a hole to hide in when I heard Jenny open the door. We ran inside.

After cleaning my paws she got out the hair dryer and dried my fur. She told me I looked like a puff ball! When she was finished I fled for the darkness and comfort of the bedroom. After spending much time under the bed my parents called me to watch a movie with them. I love movies! Watching movies means lots of belly rubs, neck scratches and attention! I hope it keeps raining so we can watch more movies (as long as it doesn't thunder). Stay dry!

With love & cuddles,

Lottie

Lesson#16 Fear like bad weather is temporary so be patient and good times will surely follow.

The Chase

I've made a discovery! There are other much smaller things to chase besides bunnies. I readily admit they are still the most fun to chase but I've had to expand my horizons as of late since there are fewer bunnies around. I don't know where they've gone but I think they are finding better spots to hide (perhaps they would be better at playing "hide and seek" than I first thought).

There are still plenty of red squirrels around and sometimes I run after them but I'd much rather bark at them. It's their own fault really, they yell and shriek in that high pitched way whenever I come close. I think Jenny would agree that this gives me the right to bark back at them.

We only have three outdoor cats in our neighbourhood but Jenny won't let me chase any of them. It's so unfair!

There is an old, thin but tough cat that is missing a leg (my parents refer to him as the three legged cat) and personally I think they get overly excited when they see him. When they're busy petting him it's like I'm not even there!!

The other cat is very fat, old, white and orange. I don't know his name but if I was his parent I would call him "killer". As you might guess, I don't like him very much and if you saw how he behaved last week I don't think you would like him either. It was awful. I was out with Daddy and we were having a lovely afternoon walk when I spotted the baby bunny and the cat playing chase in the yard. I ran towards them hoping to join in when Daddy stopped me and said to wait. That is when I saw the cat bite into the bunny's neck. It let out a shriek then it was quiet. The cat killed it! He carried the bunny closer to the house and turned his back on us. I'm not sure whether the cat ate it or not but if it did it certainly didn't need to. In truth, the cat is already so big I'm surprised he successfully caught the rabbit. After that I was anxious to move on.

The remaining cat is black and white and since we don't know his name, my parents call him "Boots". His legs are black except for his feet which are very white so it looks like he is wearing boots. I've tried to chase after Boots but Jenny won't allow it. She tells me to be nice to all kitty cats.

To get around these restrictive conditions I have recently learned to get a thrill out of chasing fish flies, crickets, and grasshoppers. Chasing such small things requires a different technique than bunny or squirrel chasing. First, I have to walk very slowly and quietly in the grass. Then I have to smell the ground and route through the grass slowly and thoroughly. Then if I'm lucky a tiny thing will bounce up into the air and I'll have to react fast by chomping down or jumping on it. So far I haven't caught one but I'll keep trying!!

With love & cuddles,
Lottie



P.S. Lesson# 15 If you are adaptable you will always enjoy the thrill of the chase.

Vocabulary

Jenny tells me I have an impressive vocabulary for a dog. I'm not surprised, she spends a lot of time talking to me. She has taught me many words and phrases. My favourite topics of discussion involve walking, running, eating, sleeping, cuddling, and going for car rides. I never tire of these things. I've surprised my parents a few times by listening when they thought I was sleeping or when they thought I couldn't hear them whispering. Sometimes they forget that I can hear better than them.

It is very comforting to know that things and actions have names. It makes the world seem less chaotic and makes me feel like I have a place in it. For instance, when I'm out with Jenny and if she sees a "bunny" before I do she will say "look, a bunny!" and we will chase it together. When we reach a hill she asks me if I want to "go up the hill" and if I do we will run up it. If I don't I proceed to ignore her or munch on grass. Whatever I decide, it feels like we understand each other and are experiencing something together. I know that some owners don't talk to their dogs unless they are mad at them or wish to teach them silly tricks for their own amusement. I feel very sad for these dogs. If only their owners knew how much untapped potential was inside each of us I think they would treat us differently.

The only downside to having a full vocabulary is that sometimes you have to hear things you don't like. My least favourite words involve teeth brushing, veterinarians, and ticks. Hmmm...If only I could figure out a way to make these words disappear perhaps I wouldn't have to experience them.

With love & cuddles,
Lottie



PS. Lesson #14 An extensive vocabulary will aid communication and instill a sense of togetherness that will enrich all experiences.