Fears

As hard as I try to act tough, there are three things that make me want to run home and hide.

1. The garbage truck

It has been many sleeps since I last heard the shriek and rumble of the garbage truck and even longer since I saw it head on, but it is enough to last a lifetime. You may think I'm being dramatic, but to me the garbage truck is frightening. It is the biggest and strangest looking car I've ever seen. I think it likes to taunt me with its frequent starting and stopping. It wants me to lower my defences and think everything is fine then once it believes I've fallen for the trick, it will run me down. I've noticed it doesn't treat its rider well either. It makes him stand (not sit like in a normal car) outside in all temperatures. It's just a cruel, noisy machine. I don't know why Jenny isn't scared of it. Sometimes I think she is not as sensible as she appears.

2. The dark.

I really don't like being outside after dark. I hate not being able to see much past my nose. How am I supposed to protect my parents or myself if I can't see? What if something jumps out in front of us? I need advance notice of such things so I can formulate a plan. Daylight affords me this precious time. When deciding whether to attack or run I need to weigh the odds. The exception to this is bedtime. That is the only time I find the dark calming. During these moments the darkness helps me fall asleep even faster than usual.

3. The veterinarian.

I don't like visiting his house at all. He always has different animals there who look and smell scared. He also pokes at my teeth, claws, and sometimes gives me a needle or worse! I've been the victim of drugging on two occasions. Most recently, I woke up afterwards and was sore for days. I don't know why my parents keep taking me back there. I know they love me so they must have a reason. So what is the reason?

After these scary moments have passed I return to my regular self, but the memory is never far behind me. In fact it sometimes creeps into the present from the future. Jenny says that if I want to stop being scared I have to be courageous and face my fears head on. She makes it sound like a final showdown from a cowboy movie. Do I feel lucky?

With love & cuddles,
Lottie



Lesson# 28 Fears differ and overcoming them takes more than luck, it takes courage.